BS Mafia: Rachel takes on Crossfire.

I'm back doing another review that I was suckered into. And, truth be told, I'm kind of hating Kristy and Nina right now. I can't be too terribly mad about Gabriel's Inferno, because I only made it 4 pages before I saved my eyes. This time, though, I'm pushing myself. I WLL get through these, come Hell or high water.

Kristy threw the Crossfire series by Sylvia Day at me, for science and bullshit and my own humiliation. I guess that's a perk to having a best friend, right? They do just about anything for you? Well, I figured that after chucking the deuces at Nina's request, I had to do SOMETHING. I had to be better, dammit. And, hey, it's just bad lit. It's not like they're posting images of Pennywise all over my house to "surprise" me.

Seriously, guys, if you do that, I'll have to punch you in the tits.

Coyotes, Werewolves, Mechanics, Oh My.

“MS. THOMPSON, it said in heavy block letters, PLEASE KEEP YOUR FELINE OFF MY PROPERTY. IF I SEE IT AGAIN, I WILL EAT IT.” 

Moon Called by Patricia Briggs
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I'm not sure why exactly I've held off on these for as long as I have. Anytime you're looking up popular urban fantasy or paranormals with a strong female lead, something I love, Mercy Thompson is one of the first to be mentioned. I love Kate Daniels fiercely, and I love the world building and pacing of a really good UF or paranormal, and I love when our lady lead is as tough as the obvious love interest. They both have to bring it to the table, and the simmering tension between such strong characters is something that just ties me in knots. I want to be invested in a series. I want to clamor for the next in line, and I want to lose myself to your world. And I'm happy to say that Mercy is delivering just as her reputation promised.

I'm intrigued by this world of vampires, fae and werewolves. And here she sits the mechanic coyote in the middle of all this Keep It Hidden From The Humans politics. Mercy is kind, unassuming and she's trying to keep her hands clean, but she also has a strong sense of honor. She's kinda going through things as if her volume is set down to six instead of eleven, but hey, she understands the werewolves because she was raised with them, and lives behind the Alpha of her area. This right here peaked my interest in a "Hey, hey now." I like that Adam is this former military dude whose presence is one you can't look away from. That our first glimpse of him is in a fancy note taped to her cat's cage telling Ms. Thompson to watch her cat or next time he's gonna eat it. And he's a dad to a sweet, spunky human girl who likes to girl talk with Mercy. Then there's the wolves right up the way in the Montana wilderness where Mercy grew up. One of which is Samuel, the head Werewolves' son, who just happens to be Mercy's first real boyfrand. Perfect.

In the first book I expect to feel sort of bogged down with world building but that didn't happen here. Instead I felt a little removed and outside of the emotional drama. I'm getting to know all these characters, and what I'm seeing I love. Bran is fascinating as the Marrok, head werewolf, with his control and boyish exterior. The whole town these wolves live in that Mercy has to return to when Adam is hurt offers so much insight into the werewolf mindset without forcing us through an info dump. I'm just not getting an emotional connection between Mercy and anyone else. I sense her loyalty and her frustration, but the setup for tension between her and Samuel or the supposed mate talk between her and Adam hasn't grasped hold of me. Yet. Listen, I'm not looking for anyone to bang it out yet.

Yes, I'm going to ship the crap out of my favorite couples a'la Kate and Curran or Barrons and Mac, but even in their books, sex wasn't an immediate plot turn. I dig Urban Fantasy. I dig tension over robotic humping. I'm not looking for boom make out time off the bat. I just want tension, and for these crazy strong characters to emotionally shake each other up with barbs and pushing and testing, because it's delicious, but with Mercy's heart so much seems to have happened before or without her telling us about it. I want to know her, and I want to be as invested in her world and in the relationships she has with everyone around her. I need them to matter, and the only way they will is by seeing them through her. Regardless, she's a quiet badass who saves the day like a beast, and I'm game to see where she takes me.

Weaving life and scratching heads.

Crewel by Gennifer Albin
Rating: 2.5 of 5 stars.

Enter a tangled world of secrets and intrigue where a girl is in charge of other’s destinies, but not her own.
 
Sixteen-year-old Adelice Lewys has always been special. When her parents discover her gift—the ability to weave the very fabric of reality—they train her to hide it. For good reason, they don’t want her to become a Spinster — one of the elite, beautiful, and deadly women who determine what people eat, where they live, how many children they have, and even when they die.
 
Thrust into the opulent Western Coventry, Adelice will be tried, tested and tempted as she navigates the deadly politics at play behind its walls.  Now caught in a web of lies and forbidden romance, she must unravel the sinister truth behind her own unspeakable power.  Her world is hanging by a thread, and Adelice, alone, can decide to save it — or destroy it.


So, here's where we're at, guys. We got this girl Adelice. And Adelice is a special, special snowflake. She can weave time. SHE CAN WEAVE TIME, WITHOUT A LOOM, GUYS. Adelice: She's a certified badass. Just like your grandma.

Remember all those times I talked about my love for dystopian novels? Remember how I was all, GUISE I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT? Guys? Guys. I lied. I have officially had enough of this shit.

Crewel was just so damn confusing. Yeah. I said it. I went there. WE WEAVE TIME NOW. Like, everything about life is just weaved. On a loom. By a coven of spinsters who can do this thing. Am I..does anyone else...WUT.

WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? WHY IS THIS A THING? How does it even make SENSE?

Listen. Look. I literally just finished this book and I gotta be honest with y'all. My head hurts. My head hurts and I am confused. I read this thing and the entire time, I sat there scratching my head trying to wrap my mind around this concept of Arras, a city? World? Built on top of Earth with...woven threads of life? And...stuff? I literally do not know what is happening right now. There were brothers and there were backstabbings and there were gays being remapped because OMG NOT NATURAL!!1! and there was this heroine that I desperately wanted to love because man did that girl have a mouth on her, and there's plots and revolutions being whispered about and this was basically a recipe for awesome things to happen but instead I got caught up in this strange, strange world building where our world is literally being built by the hands of these sooper spechul Spinsters who have the ability to EFFING WEAVE LIFE.

Oh, and you know what else happened? A MOTHEREFFING LOVE SHAPE. I do not like love shapes, people. I cannot stand a love shape. Especially when that love shape has a bunch of flat, boring characters who spark roughly about zero sympathy. LOVE SHAPES. UGH. WHY ARE WE STILL DOING THIS?

Basically, this is a book for...I don't know. Somebody. Somebody would probably like this confusing world with its catty mean girl moments and love shapes. But that girl was not me. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go scratch my head some more. 

The Guilty WTF Pleasure of Black Dagger Brotherhood: Books Wrath-Thor.

Okay. It's a timely moment to talk about one of my deepest, darkest guiltiest of pleasures. This is not something I can bring up in polite society. I mean...how do I even bring it up? What descriptions do I use? Hot damn, what sort of picture am I going to paint for the uninitiated?
Deep breath.
My name is Nina and I'm a fan of leather pants wearing vampires who drive Escalades and fight bad guys that smell like baby powder.
Oh, God.
There's just no coming back from that is there?

With the long-awaited release of Lover At Last, it's hard not to get all caught up in the BDB talk. The Black Dagger Brotherhood is a funny sort of obsession, but it's one I can't shake. Some series you dive into with the gusto of a bona fide fangirl, but you find yourself looking around after awhile and trying to walk backwards out of the room without anyone noticing that you were even there. A lot of us remember 2008. It was a weird time, as Kristy and I have both attested to. But with BDB, we're still in there, still reading the next books, still skimming the parts about the Lessers, but there we are, hanging out with vampires who use unnecessary H's in their names and wear boots they obsessively refer to as shit kickers, and always seem to end their sentences with either yup or true.

Listen, I don't have explanations or a diagnosis for why we're still waving our BDB flags. What I do have is a run through for where we've been with this brotherhood of vampires with poor grammar, kinky bedroom secrets and sometimes dragon tattoos.

Graduating from Before to After.

Wait for You by J. Lynn
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

“My brain was telling me this was a bad idea and I told my brain to shut the fuck up, because it rarely told me anything helpful.”

New Adult as a genre is about the magic, freedom and pain of our early twenties. It can combine the introspective ache of a YA, but without kicking us out of the room when it comes time to explore the physical aspects of these relationships. The mistakes and choices that come with our first real taste of being on our own. Unfortunately, we're getting a little bogged down. There's a lot out there, available to anyone with an e-reader. And already there are established patterns with no meat on their bones. No guts beneath the layers. It's sad, because New Adult is such an exciting and new genre, but it's about more than finally leaving the lights on.

This book is that More. In the light of other shelve worthy NA books like Easy and Flat-Out Love, Wait For You has a memorable story to tell. It's got guts. 

Avery has moved away from the fancy mansions of Texas money to West Virginia of all places. She's determined to cut off ties from a family and a place that almost wrecked her. On her way to her first class she's running late and in her mad dash to get this day right she literally runs into Cameron. You'll hear all about Cam when someone mentions this book. He's hot, funny and patient. He's got too much charm, a bit of a reputation and a family that grounds him with love and shit talk. He's one of the good guys, and he's there across the hall from Avery building a friendship and easing his way past her walls.

“And this must be Avery?"
"Oh, God, no," Cam said. "This is Candy, Mom."
His mother's eyes widened and a bit of color infused her cheeks. "Uh, I'm..."
"I'm Avery," I said, shooting Cam a look. "You had it right."
She spun around, smacking Cam across the arm. Hard, too. "Cameron! Oh my God. I thought..." She smacked him again and he laughed. "You're terrible.”

As smooth and delicious as Cam is, Avery is why I fell in love with this book. This girl is surviving. She's pain and innocence. But she's not just a parade of these sad stories and emotions. She's a funny nineteen year-old girl with her first real crush, because something terrible happened to her right when these things started for other girls. The distinction between before and after and her navigating that all on her own, always on her own, was heartbreaking, but really gave the story's voice surprising weight. I was shown this girl's earnest confusion and I fell for her as hard as Cameron did. And now she's here a million miles from her ice cold family, and the drama and the ghosts chasing her felt solid. This didn't feel like crybaby melodrama. I felt for this girl, and her decisions and triumphs had me just as invested as the flirty friendship and real romance developing between her and Dreamboy Cam.

But he didn't kiss me. He pressed his forehead against mine and let out a ragged breath that smelled of mint. "You drive me fucking insane sometimes."
I drove myself fucking insane. "Sorry?"
Cam pulled back a little, his eyes searching my face. "Don't run off like that again, okay? I was worried shitless when I couldn't find you and no one knew where you were."
I almost apologized again, but apologies were really like wishes. There were an abundance of both in my life and neither really made a difference. So I did something I don't even think I'd ever done, not even before. Scooting forward, I pressed my lips to his smooth cheek.

Their friends are expected (more experienced gal pal and gay boy with biting wit) but Jacob and Brit wear their roles well. As did Ollie as Cam's best friend and roommate. These are the sort of characters and establishment of place that makes a reader a little desperate to go back. A little impatient for a sequel.

"He's been asking you out since the end of August. it is the first day of November, Avery, just in case you can't tell time Most guys don't even remember a girl's name during that length of time."
My brows rose.
"It's true," Jacob commented. "I forget your name about once a week."

“The moment we stepped out into the hall, Cam's apartment door flung open. Ollie appeared, a cellphone in one hand and Raphael wiggling in the other. "Smile!" he shouted as he snapped a picture on his phone. "It's like my two kids are going to prom."

It's got some hot, hot sex and it's also romantic and surprising. Cam and Avery have to trust and adapt and learn each other, and the progression of their relationship really highlights that everything is a first for Avery, despite what happened to her.  The story is all sorts of lovely in the way of disappearing away at college for a little while where the guy across the hall sometimes doesn't wear a shirt on purpose. But more than that this is the story of Avery and watching her journey, making it matter, surrounding her with charming, funny friends and a chest tightening love interest. This is what makes New Adult a genre to swoon over. A genre worthy of memorable characters and not more cardboard cut outs.

Plus, the guy gives her a turtle.
And no, that's not a dirty euphemism.

I'm going back, back to Morganville.

"Teach me how to do that stuff you do."

"What, be awesome? Can't do it."

Bitter Blood (Morganville Vampires #13) by Rachel Caine.

Rating: 4 of 5 stars.

The last Morganville Vampire book I read was number 12 and, well, it wasn't very good. But I was committed to the series and they probably saved my grandma, so I decided I owed it to the Glass House Gang to keep going, to finish what I started. Thank goodness I didn't end it with number 12.

Bitter Blood was back to that delicious crackfic like quality I loved so much about books 1-11. Things kept happening, there were ghost hunters digging around and Captain Obvious was back and shooting people IN THE FACE and taking down vamps, but only sorta, not really, and people were back from the dead and Hannah was getting canned from her new job as mayor and WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH AMELIE ANYWAY. Also. Hey, Monica. Still a raging bitch?

"So, pre-school, did you follow me in here to profess your gay love or what?"

Awesome.

Claire and Shane were still adorable and slightly dysfunctional and Michael and Eve are all wedded blissed out and causing major problems because EW. INTERSPECIES RELATIONSHIPS. GROSS. And then there's drama there and it's unnecessary and so effing delicious because ANGST. IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER.

I love it.

Also? Very little POV shifting. BONUS.

And Myrnin. Oh, Myrnin. He's still just as fabulous as ever and I still love him with all my blood pumping muscle and want to have his fabulous undead vampire babies.

Rumor has it that there will be 15 books altogether in the series and you know what? I'M GAME. Let's do this, Glass House kids. Just keep your awesome flags flying.

No. There Is No Maybe About This, Baby.

Maybe Baby by Elaine Fox
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

First chapter in, I thought I was somewhere I'd like. Maybe in the vein of some of my favorite paperback romances a'la Rachel Gibson or Lani Diane Rich. Not as screwball as a Crusie, but a funny enough, small town affair with some chest squeezing moments of shipping a worthy couple.

Delaney was having a Mary Tyler Moment of oohing and aahing over this tiny Maine town where she'd become their fancy city Doc from out of town, and she's twirling and about to go into the neighborhood bar to meet up with the super hot guy that she's met in town who has a boat and who she assumes is visiting just like her. He's charming, and his eyes crinkle just so and then they're dancing and before you know it banging it out on the beach. At this point I should have been alerted that I wasn't gonna dig it. It was a little fluffy and a little too...introspectively sweet to be a one night stand. But, whatevs. I'm optimistic.

So, you know what happens next. They part and she's knocked up and some of her most engaging moments were here when she was trying to figure her shit out alongside her best friend. A dude. Yes, of course he's gay, but he's her bestie and he believes in her. I loved Michael, because he said all the things to her I wanted to shout when she started to fall down the But I'm A Mother Now well that led her to make a bunch of crappy, selfish decisions. She ends up in that fertile Maine town and who also lives there? Her baby daddy that she sort of kinda tried to get in touch with, but hey. He had sex with her after only knowing her a couple of hours and what kind of dad would he make? I mean...dude's a got a boat. Ridiculous. And he banged it out with that one hottie twenty year-old. No, I'm not being selfish or insecure. I don't want my daughter to have a shitty step mom. SO I'M GOING TO MAKE ALL THE DECISIONS.

Delaney was so ridiculous at this point and I couldn't believe the way she explained herself to herself. Michael tried pointing her shit out to her over the phone and there was this Ha Ha funny parallel with the soap opera everyone in town watched, but because of Delaney's outlandish lies, crazy choices AND THEN to top it off with her unbelievable snobby attitude towards his job, life, and the harmless choices he's made befitting of a single man with a job he loves, there was simply no way for me to sympathize with her. She genuinely LOSES it over the old men gossiping in the diner. Then just dumps all that insecurity onto Jack WHO SHE WON'T EVEN TELL THAT HE HAS A DAUGHTER. THAT BABY HE KEEPS PLAYING WITH. It was aggravating and it completely stole away from any possibility of them having chemistry together, or simply giving a crap if they ended up together. I wanted to tell him it wasn't worth the hassle. She's cray, dude.

 Disengage and get the hell out of there, bro.